Monthly Archives: July 2014

Making flubber on a gloom and doom day!

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Mommy has a headache, and has tons and tons of laundry to do, because dear old Daddy left his clothes in the dryer all of last week and out of sheer stubbornness, Mommy refused to remove said clothes from dryer…now there are two weeks worth of laundry, on top of 4 days of vacation laundry piled up…and it really sucks because I’m on my last pair of undies.

So while I clean house, with this massive headache, I’ve decided to make this for my big boy to play with while I am running around the house. It is great because he shows his little brother everything that he is doing, so it should entertain the small one too! Kill three birds with one stone! I’ll take that and go!

Metamucil Flubber! – Seriously is there a brown person out there that doesn’t have Metamucil in their pantry?!? Apparently it pays to be a little constipated!

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The thin line between love and hate, in a marriage…

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My ringtone on my phone for my husband is Pink – True Love, the lyrics go something like this:

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I love my Husband This much! To a tee! This is us! More often than not since we had our second baby. I know that there is light at the end of the tunnel, and this is just the current state. This shit happens when you have a kid, and it gets better once the baby grows older, this much I know. My beef is that no one ever mentioned this to me, like ever…

So no one ever told me, and no one ever talks about the fact that marriages go through ebbs and flows. Every marriage/relationship has phases to it. I know that when it comes down to it, through thick and thin, I love my husband, but at this stage in my marriage, there are multiple times a day to be totally honest that I hate him!

Something that I have noticed is that as women we only bitch to our friends about our spouses, or tell them about how wonderful they are. Why? We should be more honest with each other if we are going to open up, then open up, and don’t always call your friends to bitch and vent. That will give them the wrong impression of your spouse. If you have a friend who does this maybe you should try to lead the conversation and ask if there is truly anything good in that person’s marriage. If your friend truly cannot say anything good, then there might be an underlying issue there…

Me, on the other hand, my husband just drives me bonkers. If for example I ask him to get me a glass of milk, this is what happens:

Me: Can I have a glass of milk please, my hands are full, I just got baby to sleep?

Hubby: urrgh, I just got comfortable, couldn’t you have asked me before? ok, ok, give me a second.

Me: (in my head I say the following) you effing jerk, I bathed and fed your children while you have been lying down on the couch for the last hour, and I just need one small glass of milk to drink before it gets too late and I drink it at 12am so that my bladder will be full and I will have to wake up in the middle of the night to pee, but sure you need a few minutes go ahead and take it.

Hubby: (probably a half hour later) gets up and asks, What did you want? He walks to the kitchen, “What kind of glass?” he opens the fridge and asks “What kind of milk?” “Where is the milk?”

It is just ridiculous! It is a barrage of questions just for one simple request, and that is mostly because I have said to him repeatedly that I despise unnecessary questions, so he does it to irk me.

My problem is that I cannot find a way to irk him, he is the type who lets almost nothing bother him. He could literally be sleeping in a pile of dirty poopy diapers for weeks on end and he wouldn’t be bothered.  Yes, I have tried it…don’t judge.

My whole point of this post is that in a healthy relationship, as I have learned not just from my own experiences but from actually speaking to my friends and family honestly and openly is that no relationship is perfect. Every “Good” marriage, will have ebbs and flows, hills and valleys, and the marriages with longevity all are ones that have couples that still argue, albeit less, but they don’t just say eff this and get a divorce.

Growing up in the Indian culture, and being a first generation Canadian like my husband is something that requires a bit of a balancing act.  I’ve learned that as a women according to our traditional cultural beliefs you really just have to sit back and let your husband do whatever he wants, while you just throw your hands up in the air and say something along the lines of “oh well boys will be boys” and laugh off any crap your hubby might do…(insert screwface here)

I’ve been told by numerous people, including other women that I shouldn’t be so opinionated. I call Bullshit! I say it for this reason. I feel that if your partner doesn’t push you to be the best version of yourself, then you are just in the wrong relationship.

I’ve seen many couples where both individuals are exactly the same person, and neither of them are very nice, mostly because they have no one in the relationship to give them a reality check. I’m grateful when my hubby will call me out and tell me I am spending too much on nonsense…I may not be in the moment it happens, but that is besides the point. I know he’s grateful that I have gotten him to see that binge drinking to the point where you are constantly shitfaced isn’t a weekly or even monthly event.

Look the point is that there are not enough examples of modern Indian couples for the younger generation to look at. By no means am I judging people who have chosen divorce, or anyone for that matter, I am speaking from my own experience and only getting a realistic view of marriage after endless nights of crying out of sheer frustration because I was under some delusional impression that planning the wedding or getting through the first year or marriage was going to be the toughest part. It isn’t!

Currently I think that stage after having children is the hardest part of a relationship. As a woman you are constantly sleep deprived and hangry, so you have the patience of an flea infested, fire-breathing dragon, and want to kill your significant other for a wide variety of reasons!

What do you think is the hardest point in a marriage? Why? Do tell!

 

 

Packing for the whole effing family

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Oh my God, going away for even a night for me is a nightmare, and I love travelling, but I HATE, HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE PACKING!!!!!!!!!!!!! I would rather go through another c-section, if it meant that I NEVER in my life had to pack or unpack a suitcase again…you think I kid, no no I shit you not, packing and unpacking is the worst for moms….

This article I read on thestir.com had me laughing then crying at my current problem of packing for just a three day vacation. http://thestir.cafemom.com/toddler/174557/packing_for_a_toddler_in

It is bad enough when you have one child, but when you have two, you literally lose your mind. The hubby so kindly said; “Hey, I will give you a half hour to go pack.” I looked at him and just shook my head and went upstairs…why? Why the eff do I have to pack? i kept saying this to myself as I shoved random things into my heys jet pack, which I have to use because I’m scared shitless of bedbugs, and bringing them into my world. I think for my next trip, I’m going to force the hubby to pack and see what happens, I mean the worst case senario is that he forgets the majority of things and we have to buy new stuff.

Do you have any packing tips for mothers with children, or families in general?

 

Entitlement….

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To be honest this is probably the biggest problem that I see today with not just children, adults alike. I’m no angel with regards to this subject either, let me just state that first and foremost. I was spoiled rotten as a child, the master manipulator of my household, the puppet master if you will of each of my parents, ever so slightly pulling strings here as there to get my way…while they were pretty much none the wiser! But alas it wasn’t meant to last….at a certain age, I’m pretty sure life just became more difficult, and there wasn’t anything to get really, an we were just lucky enough to get the bare minimum. I’m glad this happened, because it taught me to appreciate all that I have now. I know that being a housewife (not the bougie, real housewives of wherever type) is a luxury. I’m grateful. I’m grateful that my children wot have to eat boiled rice and ketchup for dinner like I did, even though I still crave it sometimes that is besides the point!

My problem lies in teaching my children and sometimes hubby to stop and take it all in before wanting the next best thing. How do I do this? Any suggestions? I see entitlement all the time with people in general. Hell the most scary case being that teenager that killed 4 people driving drunk and high or whatever but got off scott free due to the defence of “Afluenza”, seriously?!? That ish just makes me angry! My fear is that my kids will end up like that if I don’t somehow show them the struggles of others less fortunate than them.

Any suggestions ? Do you have the same fears for yourself or your kids?Do you think you are still in your entitlement stage?

I could easily tip over into a rant about how I feel my husband is entitled to everything just being done for him, as if he effing farts magical effing fairies out of his but to pick up everything thing behind him; the toothpaste cap, toothbrush, socks, underwear, and pjs.

Then follow the trail down to the kitchen, milk, bread, bananas, Vector. Then follow me to the dining table, chair, placemat, bowl, spoon, napkin, and milk glass.

Like, really?!? I know I’m short, but I ain’t no effing Tinkerbell!

Oops I did it again…I digress but seriously save me from jumping down this rabbit hole! How do I get them (children and hubby) to appreciate what they have and not just expect things to be handed to them?!? How do I get them to understand that they must struggle, persevere, climb that mountain before they can get the prize?!

The proverbial introduction

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As I sit here, with baby on my boob, laptop perched on my knees, and the big boy napping restlessly, while he has one hand on my tummy, I thought to myself, now is the perfect moment for a blog entry!

When I was single I used to write notes on Facebook (Yes, I am dating myself here) for my friends to listen to my rants and have a laugh at my expense.  Now that I’ve been married and popped out some children, I realized that I’ve reserved my ranting and raving for my closest friends.  In doing so, I feel as though I am depriving the world of all the hilarity that ensues on a daily basis in my home.

Don’t get my wrong, my home is by far happy go lucky at all times, in fact my husband and I are a work in progress. I say this in the best possible way, because after having children we have had to make adjustments to our lives and rightfully so. Look my belief is that if you say you are perfect as a couple chances are, you aren’t. I want to always progress and go forth in life, and I want my marriage to do the same.  God, I couldn’t even imagine being the same person I was when I didn’t have children. I was such a judgy, entitled, and quite a bit of a snarky wench!

Anyway, yesterday while I was watching “The Social” which is a Canadian version of the view, but better! (minus Whoopi Goldberg, damn if she could be the 5th chair on the Social I’d be a happy camper) but I digress…I was watching “The Social” and the ladies were talking about habits that annoy them the most about their spouses.  Each of the ladies, had just one gripe of their husbands’ most irritating quality, but just my luck, I hit the jackpot, because my lovely hubby had every single one of those qualities! Woot woot, Lucky Me! The list was pretty funny, from leaving the toilet seat up, to leaving a trail of open drawers, cupboards, crumbs behind while doing something, as if he is Hansel, and has to find his way back to the front door in case he gets lost in the house! STEUPSE (for those that don’t know what STEUPSE means it is the sound of kissing your teeth, basically so that I don’t curse someone out in public).

I learned something from watching that show, my husband and I aren’t the only ones that go through this! Whaat?!? that made me feel great! All my life I grew up around people that didn’t have the best marriages, in fact my parents divorced when I was barely in 4th grade. For those of you that know anything about the Indian Community in the 80s, this was pretty much unheard of, to this day, I have yet to meet someone who went through this in the 80s, that is Indian. Don’t get me wrong there were so many Aunts and Uncles that should have gotten divorced but stayed together for the sake of their children. Looking at their kids and looking at me now, I honestly cannot tell you who was better off. I know that I have quite a few emotional scars because of it, but I also know that my scars that you can and cannot see are a part of me.  I wear them happily now, but I am well into my 30s so it did take me quite a bit of time.

When I realized that I could learn something from these lovely women sharing their marriage qualms, and talking to my girlfriends I figured hell, why not start a place where women can share these ideas with each other? I mean can I really be the only one that feels as though their husband is their teenage son at times? Sometimes I feel as though I’m dealing with a bloody Duffer, picking up socks, clothes, and dishes for the love of God, why must we tell you where the dishes go?!? Huh, didn’t you go pick up the bloody plate from where it belongs in the first effing place?!? Pfft…sorry I went off there didn’t I?

What does your significant other do that drives you bonkers? I’d really like to know? Somebody, Anybody, come on don’t leave me hanging, and if you are a man reading this feel free to tell me if your wife does something to annoy you…like asking if you if an outfit makes her look fat, or the best one that I’ve ever heard from one of my male friends was when he said his wife asked if a pair of shoes made her look fat, not her feet, but made her look fat! Oh man, I died when I heard that one!

Also be forewarned that if you don’t know that all of this ranting and raving is done in jest, that I suggest you not comment or read any future posts. This is my outlet, for me to take a comical look at my life and then share, in a way this is my therapy, I get to write and joke, while reflecting internally about my day to day activities.