Damned if you do, Damned if you don’t, Pärt Deux

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I hope you enjoyed my last post, here is part 2, while still on the topic of pregnancy, and childbirth, this DIYD (Damned if you do) is on the topic of Hospital Birth or Home Birth…seriously I have been thinking about all the different categories that I can do this with and the possibilities are endless. I hope you enjoy! If you do not enjoy this, (especially considering how much of this all is sarcasm combined with my sick sense of humour) go somewhere else and read something that does amuse you. Simple.

Truthfully I do not even understand why people are so judgy about this. After my first delivery, where I was scared, stressed, and only given the option of an epidural, I would not have minded having a home birth. With that said, there are CRAZIES on both sides of this argument that take things to a whole different level, I have tried my best to sum it all up, but I hope that it conveys my point that no matter what you choose as a woman or parent, you will be bombarded by haters! Haters, Haters everywhere!

HOSPITAL BIRTH vs. HOME BIRTH

HOSPITAL BIRTH:

I am surprised that you are willing to expose your children to superbugs and diseases so willingly, I mean I have some garbage outback that you can smear onto your baby’s face when he is born if you would like. We thought you would be a better parent than that. Why would you bring your baby into the world in the place where people go to die? The doctors are just there as pawns, of the pharmaceutical companies and you are just a sucker buying into the business of birthing babies. I bet you will get an epidural, and pitocin to induce your labour too, not to mention that they will most likely use a vacuum, or forceps or some other contraption to get your kid out and most likely harm them. When they harm your baby on purpose they basically have you for life once you begin life there. Wow, I am ashamed to know you.

HOME BIRTH:

I am surprised that you are willing to expose your children to superbugs and diseases so willing, I mean I have some garbage outback that you can smear onto your baby’s face when he is born if you would like. We thought you would be a better parent than that. (so funny how similar both sides fight using the same arguments) Why would you not want your child to be born in a sterile environment. What if you missed a spot cleaning and the baby lands right there? Eww! Simply put, you, your dirty hippy Doula, and Midwife are bat-shit cray cray! You are going to turn your baby into some sort of, weirdo, who like does weirdo hippy things like you.

Hospitalbirth homebirth

Like I said earlier, Haters are going to hate you no matter what you may choose, so brush them off, like they are Dirt off of your shoulder.

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