I did a video on my problem with the current actor who is playing the role of Storm, and what needs to happen if she is to continue in the role with the support of Storm’s biggest fan base, Strong Women of Colour!
I was emptying out my hubby’s clothes from the laundry and pulled out a Long Blonde hair and got so upset, I started throwing all his clothes all over the floor, just tossing it here and there…midway through my hissy fit I realized it was my own long grey hair!!!!
I’m an idiot today! I put the clothes neatly away after that!
I’ve been reading a lot of articles lately about women not being proud that they are mothers, or people putting mother’s down. This baffles me, and saddens me, because I’ve learned and changed so much as a mother for the better, and better yet, I have a responsibility to raise the next generation of children. I am a teacher by education and heart so maybe I am a special case, I’m sure a few of my haters would tell you for sure that I am a special case, and to them, my response is
Reasons why I’m happy to list Mother as my most coveted skill on my resume.
- I can literally do anything while someone is annoying the crap out of me and do it in a calm manner, with so much self control that it shocks me at times.
- I have been able to retrain my brain in the span of 6 years to eat and write with my left hand, because there was a child in my right hand.
- I think not a few steps ahead, but literally days ahead, to stay ahead of my children and their mischievous plotting against me.
- I can fully function and look presentable on less than 3 hours of sleep.
- I can clean up an entire apartment in under 30 mins to look presentable after it looks as though it has thrown up on itself.
- I can also clean the entire first floor of a home with 4 rooms in 30 mins, I say this because if you come to a home with small children, don’t EVER ask to see the upstairs, because it ain’t pretty.
- I know how to negotiate with terrorists that I birthed and if I can convince my children to not only eat green vegetables, but ask for them in their chocolate cake, I have an immeasurable skill!
- I can tune out crying, which can be translated into tuning out any distractions in the real world when needing to concentrate.
- Being a mother has caused me to be on top of the latest trends, and safety notices and I have so much information stored in my head about so many different things it scares me.
- My most important skill since becoming a mother is being able to see both sides of things. I want so badly to raise a generation of boys that are different from the last, because I want this I strive to always listen to my boys and explain to them why gender stereotypes are wrong, why prejudice is wrong, why racism is wrong, why women are equal to men and so much more. I feel like this is my greatest skill, and it allows me to be open to the ideas of others but still be objective. I want my boys to express themselves freely, and when they are wrong I will correct them and tell them why. Hopefully they will in turn put that same behaviour that I model for them, into the world and make it a better place.
So I am less than 24 hrs out of my surgery to correct a deviated septum and to open up my nasal turbinates. Sounds weird but I’ve suffered all my life with breathing problems and when I took my son into this lovely ENT doctor (Dr. David Goldfarb) I was convinced wth his humour and how he put myself and my 6 year old at ease. My kiddo’s quick recovery and his doctor’s pride in his work just cemented the fact that I needed him to help me.
All my life I’ve suffered with breathing problems and I’m sure I broke my nose a few times as a teenager, then my son and I had a head to nose collision when he was 1 and 1/2 and my nose bled on and off for a few days, and while trying to explain to him that he needs to be more careful when I’m helping him up, he managed to do another head to nose collision! I haven’t been able to breathe correctly since, and just remembering those hits brings tears to my eyes (this might be a side effect of the surgery)
Anyway, I wish I didn’t have to wait as long as I did but I had to ensure my second son wouldn’t do the same thing to me once I got it fixed.
I tried to look everywhere to find out about the surgery, and I only got scary stories. Mine isn’t that scary so far. Not yet anyway but I will update as I go. This worst thing that I’ve noticed is that I can’t breathe through my nose which makes it hard to talk and breath at the same time and it’s hard to drink. Also huge thing I can taste sugar waaaay too much now! I wonder if this can curb my infamous sweet tooth! Bonus!
Here are pictures right after surgery, I took off the moustache bandage to clean up. There is bleeding Mixed with discharge but not too much and not overly gross. I slept really well with the painkillers and PHO I had for dinner,from 1030 to 8 straight and I slept in like a sitting position with a ton of pillows behind me and around me, I felt great! Mostly because I almost always have a kid in bed with me!
Recently, within the last few years or so I have come to the realization that I don’t have to hang around people I don’t like, nor do I have to make my kids be in their presence. I’m not under this impression that you should see people to keep up appearances, because well truthfully that is utter bullshit. People who force themselves to be around people who they don’t like, just come off as disingenuous, and fake. When my son was born I make him a promise that I would attempt to put as much good into this world as possible and this is one of the ways that I intend to do that.
The problem with this decision is that I’ve been faced with so much backlash from people that I should make an effort and keep putting myself out there and quite simply I now say; “No.”
People show you who they are with the way they treat you, and sure someone can have a bad day every now and then and be a bitch, but when someone continuously insults, degrades, questions, demeans or just straight up puts you down in front of others, no matter how many chances you give that person they are going to keep treating you this way because you are Allowing them to treat you this way. You show the aggressor that it’s okay to keep treating you like garbage and they will continue to treat you like garbage until you show them otherwise.
I find that people want you to be a part of the status quo, and the second you decide to do better than them in life, they begin to attempt to bring you back down to their level. The crabs in a bucket theory. The theory being that if you put crabs in a bucket, and they see one crab escaping, they will jointly pull that crab back into the bucket, basically telling that one lonely crab that it should know its roll and fall in line.
We as humans are the same for the most part. It is very rare to find real friends, even family. I have so many family members that told my mom and I off when she was divorced, then there were friends that stood by us. I’ve even had people, tell me off and degrade me in front of my spouse and children, on numerous occasions and then still be expected to hang out again with this person. I’m proud of myself for not doing it. This person is a family member, and the betrayal that I felt when I was degraded cut me deeply. I mourned our times together and then I reminded myself, if that person could do that to me, truly they may not have ever been genuine towards me. I haven’t spoke to this person in years now and when mutual friends or family tell me about them I literally give zero fucks. I smile and nod and don’t feel a thing. It’s sooo fucking liberating to give zero fucks!! I highly suggest it, it is the best medicine for a tortured soul!
Losing a parent or having a great loss in life usually wakes up fake people. This is another observation I’ve made. I lost multiple people whom I was close to at every single developmental stage of my life, and every single one of those people, taught me great lessons in life and their deaths all changed the course of my life for the better. The last person I lost was my mentor. He was my best friend if I’m totally honest one of my greatest life teachers. I used to refer to him as my Canadian Dad. He would always tell me that I just cared too damn much about what everyone else thought about me. It was very true, and in his life he encouraged me to step out of my comfort zone, and I always did knowing that he would be there with pizza, gin & tonics with reruns of the sopranos to make me feel better. When he passed, after a long, painful batter with brain cancer, I went full force into living life with less of other people’s expectations on me. I’m sure there were some points in my life where he was cheering me on like “Fuck Yes Leena Jump!” I think I really heard him sometimes, I feel like I still do!
So I guess the point of this long drawn out post today is that I want you as my friend to feel my freedom. Life doesn’t have to be about bullshit toxic people. Cut off people who only bring bad shit to your life. You will feel liberated. You will be happier not having to worry about how someone is looking at you or what they are saying behind your back. Surround yourself with people who tell you what they think of you to your face. Life is too short, to waste on fake friends. Do you and be good to others, just because they are humans like you and I promise you only good things will come your way. If you put goodness into the world, and stop putting bad vibes and Bullshit drama, your life will improve immensely.
Try it and please let me know how it works out for you!
My first racist experience in Canada was when I was in grade 6. This white girl Laura and I used to but classmates, not friends, not acquaintances just in the same class. I was the child of a single mother being bussed to a decent school because of government subsidies. My mom didn’t have much to give me, because she had been exiled from her family for divorcing my dad…so it was her and I.
One day for some reason Laura and her little clique came up to me in the Cafeteria and grabbed my Pop and said “you owe me this you dumb Paki, for all the stuff you’ve taken from us, go back to your country”
Did I mention I was a fat loner kid at 11? You DON’T take a pop from a fat kid with no friends who only enjoys food. I was shocked at first then said something along the lines of “gimme my pop, you dumb idiot I’m not even a Paki I was born in Canada!” She gave me the finger and began walking away.
I can say now I know sheer anger rushed through me at that moment. I got up and I’m sure to them it looked like I was walking away, when in fact I was walking around the long rectangular table to get right up behind her (I was too big to hop the table) I went right up behind this girl and grabbed her by the little tight up ponytail on the top of her head and smashed her face into the cafe table, BOOM!
At this point I knew I was in trouble, the whole cafe was staring at me, I lifted her head up realizing I was in so much trouble and asked her for my pop back, and she told me to “fuck off!”
I was still holding her ponytail so I smashed her face again! BOOM!
Well I broke the girl’s nose….
I’m not proud of it. In fact it still saddens me to tell the story. Now as an adult I know she learned this stuff from her parents, as they proceeded to call my mom and I all kinds of terrible names during the meeting with the principal, making it quite obvious that I wasn’t in the wrong..nor right for that matter…so basically the principal had to call it a draw. She had used racist comments and provoked and stolen from me, I had used unnecessary force, which at the time wasn’t a part of zero tolerance.
I continued going to school with Laura, I never spoke to her, but I made other friends, but almost 30 years later, she was the first time that someone told me specifically to “go back to my country” as an 11 year old I just didn’t get it! I still don’t get it! Canada is a land of immigrants and NO ONE except Native Canadians have the right to say that.
Up until yesterday I’ve never seen or heard a Native person say that to someone. As a frequent troller of news comments I finally struck gold! (Also I read the comments but never comment!)
Behold exhibit A:
I think I’m going to start a series on racist experiences. Please if you have ever had one living in Canada comment below! Also I believe in Canada White people are not exempt from racist experiences. I know plenty of Italian, French and Spanish people (to name a few) that were the minority of the decade to hate for a while…and that is why I’m writing this, I want it to be more open. I want others to see the commonalities we have and stop focusing on ththe differences!
A few years later my mom sent me to a charity run summer camp, and by some fluke Laura was in my cabin with me. She was scared of me, we hashed things out and found common ground, her parents had animosity and she was around that growing up. We never became friends but hey some common ground made us human to each other.