Tag Archives: humour

Don’t Hang Around Toxic People!

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Recently, within the last few years or so I have come to the realization that I don’t have to hang around people I don’t like, nor do I have to make my kids be in their presence. I’m not under this impression that you should see people to keep up appearances, because well truthfully that is utter bullshit. People who force themselves to be around people who they don’t like, just come off as disingenuous, and fake. When my son was born I make him a promise that I would attempt to put as much good into this world as possible and this is one of the ways that I intend to do that.

The problem with this decision is that I’ve been faced with so much backlash from people that I should make an effort and keep putting myself out there and quite simply I now say; “No.”

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People show you who they are with the way they treat you, and sure someone can have a bad day every now and then and be a bitch, but when someone continuously insults, degrades, questions, demeans or just straight up puts you down in front of others, no matter how many chances you give that person they are going to keep treating you this way because you are Allowing them to treat you this way. You show the aggressor that it’s okay to keep treating you like garbage and they will continue to treat you like garbage until you show them otherwise.

I find that people want you to be a part of the status quo, and the second you decide to do better than them in life, they begin to attempt to bring you back down to their level. The crabs in a bucket theory. The theory being that if you put crabs in a bucket, and they see one crab escaping, they will jointly pull that crab back into the bucket, basically telling that one lonely crab that it should know its roll and fall in line.

We as humans are the same for the most part. It is very rare to find real friends, even family. I have so many family members that told my mom and I off when she was divorced, then there were friends that stood by us. I’ve even had people, tell me off and degrade me in front of my spouse and children, on numerous occasions and then still be expected to hang out again with this person. I’m proud of myself for not doing it. This person is a family member, and the betrayal that I felt when I was degraded cut me deeply. I mourned our times together and then I reminded myself, if that person could do that to me, truly they may not have ever been genuine towards me. I haven’t spoke to this person in years now and when mutual friends or family tell me about them I literally give zero fucks. I smile and nod and don’t feel a thing. It’s sooo fucking liberating to give zero fucks!! I highly suggest it, it is the best medicine for a tortured soul!

Losing a parent or having a great loss in life usually wakes up fake people. This is another observation I’ve made. I lost multiple people whom I was close to at every single developmental stage of my life, and every single one of those people, taught me great lessons in life and their deaths all changed the course of my life for the better. The last person I lost was my mentor. He was my best friend if I’m totally honest one of my greatest life teachers. I used to refer to him as my Canadian Dad. He would always tell me that I just cared too damn much about what everyone else thought about me. It was very true, and in his life he encouraged me to step out of my comfort zone, and I always did knowing that he would be there with pizza, gin & tonics with reruns of the sopranos to make me feel better. When he passed, after a long, painful batter with brain cancer, I went full force into living life with less of other people’s expectations on me. I’m sure there were some points in my life where he was cheering me on like “Fuck Yes Leena Jump!” I think I really heard him sometimes, I feel like I still do!

So I guess the point of this long drawn out post today is that I want you as my friend to feel my freedom. Life doesn’t have to be about bullshit toxic people. Cut off people who only bring bad shit to your life. You will feel liberated. You will be happier not having to worry about how someone is looking at you or what they are saying behind your back. Surround yourself with people who tell you what they think of you to your face. Life is too short, to waste on fake friends. Do you and be good to others, just because they are humans like you and I promise you only good things will come your way. If you put goodness into the world, and stop putting bad vibes and Bullshit drama, your life will improve immensely.

Try it and please let me know how it works out for you!Zerofucks

The Ultimate Guide to Travelling with Children

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So first I must thank my wonderful friend Lauren for telling me to put all my information stored in my head up on a post

First step to ease your mind about travelling with children is what form of safety and travel gear will you take? Car seats, Strollers, play pens oh My! Well if you are travelling to specific cities you may be in luck, because you can rent gear from two very reputable companies, and get this, they DELIVER the gear to your destination! Hotel, home, or airport! Whaaaat?!

This is important for people who are concerned when they rent carseats from car rental places, i mean they usually have the cheapest of the cheap, and lowest safety rated carseats. These two companies below, allow you to Choose the same britax you have at home or the city mini jogger if that is your stroller, allowing kids to feel comfortable too!

Their sites are: http://www.weetravel.ca (so reasonably priced) and http://www.coast2coastbabies.com (they only work in select US cities)

So that’s check one off of your list.

Next step is the Stroller you want to take (especially if the companies above don’t service your area). I think the city select is the best stroller of all time.It maneuvers with one hand and can go into any handicap washroom stall, folds easily and is a general lifesaver. When we had two small kids they would face each other and entertain each other. When they were tired it fully reclined, while keeping the canopies closed. It was as if they were in their own business class pods! It is a pricey stroller if you don’t have it but you can easily find them second hand online in great condition! The configurations available on this are just too good to be true. Now that my oldest is 6, he rides the boogie board on the city select and his brother is in the seat, and trust me for connecting flights it is a saviour to not have to run holding a child who cannot run as fast as you, when you can literally just push and run (i recently had to do this in the Vancouver airport at 4am, it was as if I got a bootcamp workout in!) I have no doubt I will be using this stroller for at least two more years especially for travel, which will mean that I’ve had it for 9 years!

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What to pack for the flight?

I have a simple rules for packing a carryon bag. I pack for a worst case scenario. I take a Carryon (wheelie suitcase) and my giant TokiDoki Juju Be soft bag (Starlet or Super Be which can later be used at my destination as a beach bag and a stroller bag.

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For a baby in diapers: 3 outfit changes, 1 diaper per hours in transit, a travel pack of wipes, (not a small one but the decent size ones in case of a poop explosion) 3 snacks (milk and water if they are not eating solids) per hour of flight, and a way to wear baby and a swaddle blanket for them to cover their eyes like a sleep mask, while rocking them to sleep. My kids sleep with white noise and in the dark so if i cover their eyes on a plane its like the ideal sleep situation for them. Multiple pacifiers if they take them, and in case you lose them!!! No judgement if you don’t.

For a toddler: 3 outfit changes (i usually let them travel in pjs), 1 diaper per hours in transit, 4 snacks per hour (because chewing is good for their ears, especially if in pain). For entertainment purposes, their favourite digital movies downloaded on their ipads or portable DVD player, their headphones, and a little kid neck pillow. Also their favourite Stuffed toy. I also buy like a bunch of mess free colouring books from dollarama, and let them go to town!

For Mom: It’s probably wrong if I say little alcohol bottles, especially as my first item right? well it isn’t too bad, I have done it and will do it again, just to calm my nerves. In all seriousness; 1 change of clothes, ear buds, gum, and basically anything you need to look human and feel like a human and not just a walking Mom zombie! I take my makeup bag, and a headband and hair-tie. My favourtie thing I just found out about was wearing a giant cotton scarf (if you are still wearing baby they have nice baby wearing scarves that you can pull over yourself if you are feeling a chill.

For liquids, medicine, and easy access: I usually take two giant ziplock bags and keep one in my diaper bag. I take tylenol for the kids (who I wake up early, and let stay up late, and they almost always sleep on the flight) I give them tylenol and gravol, 20 mins apart with the last dose 20 mins before take off. I will justify this once, and only once. The tylenol is usually for the pain in their ears, I know by trail and error that this helps, because every time I’ve travelled with my children if one of them refuses the tylenol he is the child that screams their head off on the plane, because he cannot handle the pain in his ears! I also give them a dose of gravol, because they do get tummy aches, and motion sickeness in the car on a regular basis, and after one flight where both of them were screaming that they wanted to throw up every 30 mins, I will always keep liquid gravol ready to go and now it even comes in chewables so you can take chewables for the tylenol and gravol now and not have to worry about the liquid rules.

I also take extra strength tylenol, advil, and sinutab (if you get congested on a flight) for myself in my ziplock medicine bag and benedryl in case of a random allergic reaction. I also keep all the liquids and meds in that are in the ziplock in a Jujube fuel cell, along with two small spoons, forks, and medicine dispensers 2 of them in case one is sick you cant have them sharing (this has happened to me, I shit you not it almost killed me the stress)

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When you have a baby or child you need to have a little wristlet like the JuJu Be Be Quick that I keep in the outside pocket of the diaper bag with the change bag. In it i have 2 diapers, baby wipes & disinfectant wipes (to wipe down all the seat handles and tray tables and anything your kids can touch because those things are nasty, and the last thing you want is to be sick from some random airplane bug at your destination) When you have the wristlet you can just grab it and the change pad and hands free go to the washroom.

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Sometimes I used a second Be Quick for passports and a pen and any travel documents so that everything is in one place and I wear it until I’m on the plane, and then put it inside my diaper bag in a zipped up pocket.

One very important thing you need to pack: Confidence, that you can do it, and even if you don’t who cares, no one else on that flight paid for a private plane so they should know that babies will be babies, and if they don’t give them a death-stare! It isn’t easy travelling with small children but it is doable and can be fun, once you get the hang of it!

CHECKLIST: (you can screenshot and print this list)

  1. Call the travel rental gear places to set up the framework of your travel.
  2. Pick a stroller that will work for your family
  3. 3 outfits per child and one change of clothes for yourself.
  4. diapers per hour in transit depending on child (see above) _____________________
  5. 3 snacks per child and adult per hour
  6. quick grab wristlet (BeQuick) for diapers wipes and change pad
  7. Have a fuel cell handy with small cutlery (sporks) and medicine dispensers 1 per child, and all blister pills or bottles in a separate ziplock bag incase of a leak. You can also store baby bottles in this and it can clip around any diaper bag so that you are hands free.
  8. Be Quick (wristlet) with a pen, and passports and travel documents in it
  9. little backpack for toddler or small child with their headphones, tablet, stuffed animal and crayons and colouring in it so that they have it and they feel like a big kid. If your toddler is travelling with a paid seat they are entitled to their own carry-on take advantage of it. It will give them a feeling of independence, which you may be able to use against them, by saying; “Remember lets all be big boys and girls and use our manners and be thoughtful towards others on the plane” it’s worth a shot!
  10. Also in case of an accident you will need some good plastic bags to shove any soiled clothing into and then tie shut so the rest of your stuff doesn’t smell.
  11. for the above reason I also keep in that liquids ziplock bag in my carryon a little bottle of gain laundry detergent that i pour onto any soiled clothes
  12. One final tip, and this is for any traveller, I vacuum seal all of my carry-on suitcase items, and get a little hand vacuum pump. it saves on room, and I keep all of our clothes in them sealed when travelling to prevent ticks or bedbugs hopping a ride home with me. I know this works because they will die without the oxygen, because I’ve seen a dead tick fall out of a bag when doing laundry after vacation…because sometimes you forget to close the bag, but those suckers can survive the plane right home with after being vacuum sealed!

 

Hope this helps you. If you like it please feel free to share! Please also share any tips that you would like to share!! I’m always open for more advice in my storage of information.

 

Why I Love Disney’s Frozen for my Boys!

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I have been catching a bit of weirdo looks my way lately for letting my boys obsess over Disney’s Forzen.  First of all all you people who think that this is a princess movie, with the same old lesson, need to actually understand the movie, or better yet, watch it with your full attention. I’m not going to be Rosie O’Donelle and yell at you to watch this great movie (but I’m also not knocking her for doing so, because I can understand why she loves the movie so much!)BUT you really have to understand that this is a great movie for children to obsess over, just like Despicable Me, Up, Toy Story, or whatever.

I love this movie for a few reasons, the first being that it shows girl power. Ya, I know it is cliche, but we have two princesses and neither are saved by a man. In fact one Princess is saved by another Princess, and visa versa. It shows this generation of women that they can do for themselves but to also not be too stubborn, and ask for help where and when it is needed. In the case of Anna, she has Christoph, Sven, and Olaf (he is my favourite character, right up there with the Minions for all time!) helping her along the way, but not, I repeat NOT BEING HER SAVIOURS! She shows that she has a pure heart and can sacrifice herself for someone she loves, her sister, and that True Love, between a man and a woman isn’t the only kind of powerful love.

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Also the fact that Disney has chosen to tell this story this way, makes me as the mother of boys so happy. It shows my sons that they don’t have to be a knight in shining armor, they don’t have to save some damsel in distress.  For far too long, this has been my biggest gripe with Disney movies, why, because I never needed saving in my life, because much like Anna and Elsa, I did it and faced every heart stopping moment in my life head on. I want my sons to be with women (if that is what they choose) who are strong, oh God, I truly hope they don’t find women exactly like me, I would probably cry. Strong women are good, copies of your Mama are baaaaaad!

Maybe by the time they are ready to get married it will be the women proposing, giving them rings! Either way I might just die a little if they bring home some helpless waif, who giggles instead of laughing, who asks for permission to do anything and apologizes for everything. I would be upset! Oh man I’m shaking my head just thinking about it. But I digress.

So I have two other reasons why I Love this story, they are more so for me, than for the sake of my kids, but anyone who doesn’t watch movies with their kids, I mean, seriously why not? I hate adults who just can’t be kids with their kids for what the span of like 2 hours. Oh you are too good for Cartoons now that you are an adult, pfft, bitch please move on! I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE cartoons, I watched them with my family growing up and I watch them with my kids, I hope I will watch them with my grandchildren. Anyway, I particularly love cartoons that show some kind of power that a protagonist is born with or acquires. The reason why I love this, is the same reason why I love the Xmen, because it shows children that we are all special in our own way, even if we look different, or have some sort of anomaly that makes us stand out. I was born with webbed fingers, and so were so many people in my family, and I passed it on to my children.  Since the first time I read an Xmen Comic, I have always considered myself a mutant! I wear the term with pride, and I tell my boys too also!

I love Elsa because she is Mutant like to me, and she LOVES the Cold! Whaat!?!?  It is as if the Disney writers wrote this for me! Since I was a child, I was that one Canadian kid who could literally stay outside in shorts when it was below zero. I actually one of my friend’s older brother better me I couldn’t stand outside with my sweatpants and sleeves rolled up when it was zero degrees…umm now that I think about it he may have been trying to get rid of his little sister’s annoying friend, but meh, I remember standing outside and being proud to having adapted to the cold like no one else in my family could! Ha what a strange thing to be proud of! When she undoes her cloak, lets in flyaway in the wind and says; “The Cold Never Bothered Me Anyway”, I shit you not I almost jumped out of my seat. Even my husband looked and me and said; “Did they base Elsa on you? The white hair, the cold loving, even her dress is the snow version of your wedding dress” lol I couldn’t believe he made the connection…I guess he does pay attention!

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I think those count as two reasons, but the bonus reason why I love this cute movie, is that damn snowman, Olaf! I couldn’t get enough of him! The faces that Olaf makes, I mean come on, how could you not love that little snowman!

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Thank you for reading my blog, and to those loyal readers (wow I cannot believe I have loyal readers) you make my day checking everyday for a post, I apologize for taking so long, life has been hectic, and I would rather post quality as opposed to quantity! I see you Brazil! I thank you!

Stay at Home Mother’s schedule

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I’m writing this for my husband along with others that really wonder what I do.

12am – nurse baby for long stretch
Very rarely will I sleep between 12-6 usually one or both kids wake up and are crying about something. My 4 year old is going through night terrors and growing pains and my little one is teething.

6am- nurse teething baby again

8am- entertaining baby while the older one gets 20 more mins of sleep

823: older one gets up, usually very grumpy, he’s not a morning person

830-9- clean up after my husband from his morning routine and put baby in his chair to do his poop.

9-930- make breakfast for kids from scratch change baby and get them fed by 10, also attempt to have one coffee, and go pee myself.

10-1115- wash my face brush my teeth, change a diaper, get kids dressed, make lunch, clean dishes, get them dressed in winter gear and pack bag and get them in the car. It is winter here so it is about -10 here so I have to pack the car after I get them dressed and with one hand throw everything in, put the baby in the car, then the older one and strap them into car seats, turn the alarm on, turn on their music, check the mail, drop my older son to school. I know that is a crazzzzzy run on sentence, but as soon as I park at school, the days when it is minus 15, I then have to unstrap both kids and take them both out to drop my older son to school, because I can’t leave the car running and leave my baby in their.
Someday my mom will meet me at the school to wait in the car with the baby.

1130-245- come home,feed baby, put baby down for a nap(if he isn’t super clingy. Then start cleaning, organizing, laundry folding, upkeep of the house(this can include hanging a picture,fixing something that broke) begin dinner,feed baby again, teach baby things (think, “where’s your nose?” Or say Bhai-ya (brother in Hindi)). Then pack him up and back to school to pick up Bhai-ya, then take him out of the car to get the older brother, one handed! Bring both kids with knapsack back to the car in minus 15 degrees and ice outside, pack them both into the car, one handed, and Finally they are in!

3-330-345-4- TRAFFIC!
4 finally home

4-6make dinner, entertaining, cooking dinner, putting baby down for a cat nap, after having a snack and a bottle.

6-730-8- eat dinner, with the Slowest eater in the world, my love, my darling 4 year old, most of his food ends up on the floor in the form of little rolled up balls of crumbs, I can’t stand this! He always wants to eat everything with his hands and it kills me a little every time he does it.

8-845- bath time when Papa gives him a bath. If I am alone and am doing it things would end here, the kids would be washed and sleeping by 845 at the latest, my husband is the SLOWEST MOVING HUMAn being in the WORLD!

845-10 watch some shows and clean up, and have some chai, plan tomorrow’s dinner. Workout if I have the energy, while my husband has been asleep and is still sleeping with the kids.

10pm- baby wakes up for night time snack and bottle. The end time for this is closing down because now I am trying so hard to get him back down at

1030 or 11 so that he doesn’t need to nurse anymore, but regardless he still gets up at 12am to be nurses and I have to put him back down without being nursed.

Anyway this may sound like a crazy schedule and it may see like I forgot food, usually I only have time for coffee and snacks until dinner, it is terrible but true, when I do eat it is all pretty much healthy with snacks.

Also by no means am I complaining this is MY job and I wouldn’t trade it, I embrace it, I’m just run down a bit and tired, but I’m especially tired of dumb fucks who think I sit on my butt all day a la Peg Bundy eating bon-bons all day.

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