Tag Archives: marriage

Public School or Private School – York Region


Hello everyone,

It has been a while since I wrote something but I thought for this purpose it would be a good idea because I have noticed that many people that I know are now looking into whether or not private school is something that they can afford or look into. Understand that I write this post based solely as my experience as an OCT qualified teacher with more than a decade of teaching experience and as a parent.

In Vaughan there are quite a few public schools and to be honest they aren’t great. They have entirely too large class sizes in my area with 20+ students to 1 teacher. They may say that there will be a teachers aid in the smaller classes but what about when there isn’t? Also why is an aide at the same level as the teacher? In addition to that in York region the sheer lack of diversity in the teaching staff is almost laughable. There is very little diversity and it certainly doesn’t match up with the student population. When I initially went into the school that my son was supposed to go to it was unbelievable the way I was dismissed, I didn’t once mention that it was my field, because I wanted to see if they treated me well or not. In fact they treated me poorly from the very first person I spoke to, to the very last. So I said forget it.

I was ready to homeschool my child, because he was 2 at the time of this, and he could already read. So I discussed this with my spouse and he flat out refused, and said I had to look for another alternative. Since marriage is about compromise I had to find a middle ground so I looked into private schools.

In Vaughan there are three private schools that are somewhat affordable; King heights, North Hill Private and Woodbridge Private School (formerly Woodbridge Montessori)

King Heights: They have an IB program, and personally I found quite a few problems with this school as a parent and an educator.  Any school activity whether it is Gym or going to the library or something like that has to be done off campus at another place. So the children have to be bussed there. That means a lot of time is given to transportation and my kids would be in a bus without car seats regularly when they could be learning. I won’t even let my mother drive my kids to school, they have to have their winter clothes off when in the car, so this wouldn’t have worked one bit for me. On top of it when I asked why the school was IB in elementary since in my professional opinion it isn’t necessary at the primary level, I was given the lame excuse that all work should tie back to world and global studies. I wanted to say all GOOD curriculum already does that but I hadn’t told her that I was a teacher, so I made note of the BS answer she gave me. I personally didn’t like the vibe of this school nor the fact that I didn’t get a straight answer as to whether or not all the teachers were OCT certified.

North Hill Private School: Food is included with this program and it only goes up until a lower elementary level and I wanted to put my children in a school once and not have to change them for a while to a different school. The problem with food being included is that my children have allergies and I wouldn’t trust any other source than mine.

Woodbridge Private School: This turned out to be my winner for many reasons. First the school recently went through a complete overhaul. I am very happy with it as a parent. The religious aspect was removed from the everyday school curriculum, which was beginning to be a problem for my kids.

Secondly they have brought in a music and piano teacher to teach both of my children, on site, which is great for them to get the basics of music being taught at such a young age. They have physical education on site and extra curricular activities such as Mandarin, Italian, French, Taekwondo, and Tennis, so that we as parents don’t have to schlep our children around to this activity or that activity on the weekends.

The staff work with each individual kid and they truly make them feel safe and happy which creates a great learning environment for learning. My younger son, literally cried every day going to school for the first 3 months, and they never made him feel bad for it, nor me, they just encouraged me to continue on and that he was in good hands. I would come in some days just to check in, and there he would be happily playing and learning.

The kids are in split classes JK & SK, 1-3, 4-6 are all grouped as such to have plenty of peer learning and the ability for children to gain social skills and understanding from each other, which has been proven to be the most effective learning tool for primary aged children.

Here is the best thing they have recently implemented tutorial from 3:30-4pm so all children will have a chance to complete their homework on site at school, so that we as parents can just have a good time at home discussing their day at school instead of struggling to complete endless mind numbing tasks of trying to get a tired kid to complete a bunch of busy work homework at home when all you want to do is talk to them.

Even when you have a concern about children not getting along or every day concerns the principal is so quick to figure out a solution, and sure you can say it is because you are paying for it, but truthfully I don’t think that is the case here. I ask my kids every day and even when there have been conflicts how they feel about school and they both love it and love seeing each other in school too.

They do offer a hot lunch program too, with great food options, the school is also a nut free school. I know that because my youngest son has an egg allergy they also accommodate for that and various other allergies too based on other students needs.

As a visible minority, I find it very important to add that the school population is very diverse and much more diverse than I have seen of other schools. This is very important to me and to my children so that they aren’t constantly surrounded by one type of person, and you can truly see the diversity of Canada in the school’s population.

If you are looking for an affordable private school I highly suggest looking into Woodbridge Private. A certain percentage of tuition can also be written off as child care expenses also. For me my children are my greatest investment, of my love and work. I give them the best car seats for their safety and even though it meant I had to go back to work to pay for them to be in private school, I was more than willing to put that income entirely towards this school.

I know I had a hard time trying to find any information on this topic so if I have helped you I am very happy!



Are you a Natural Mother?


Are you a natural Mother? I sure as hell am not!

Being a Mother has been the only job I’ve ever had in my life that brought me to my knees begging for mercy on multiple occasions.


My husband recently brought it to my attention that other people he knows (sometimes himself included) feel inadequate when around me as a parent. This made me sad. Never since becoming a Mother have I EVER tried to force my opinions or ideas on another Mother because I know people parent from their own experiences. What may be important to me, may not be for you.


Here is a perfect example. When my husband and I were about to become first time parents, I had actually gotten my ideal job offer, BUT, it wasn’t meant to be because my husband was on a trajectory that would make him 3 times more money than I would ever make, but it would require him to leave for long stretches of time, and IF I took my job offer, it would have meant that my baby would be without either of his parents for most of the beginning of his life.

My own Mother’s words rang in my ears about how much she had wished she could have stayed home with me when I was small instead of leaving me in daycare or with various babysitters and I made the decision to stay home, because I wanted better for my son than I had. I wasn’t sad about it because I have faith in myself and know if I went back to work tomorrow I know I could get a full time job, without much headache.


I think this is what makes me come off to other Mothers as being a natural. The opinion that others have of me, doesn’t bother me. I will tell you it is entirely because of the fact that life has taught me, when others find fault in you, it is because they don’t have the bravery to look at themselves and figure out what is driving them to criticize others. I know I look crazy to others and I know others think I should care more about their opinions but I just walk through my life to my own beat, looking a touch crazy on a regular basis, and I’m proud of that!


I parent my children without apologies. I make every bad situation into a teachable moment for them and myself. I’ve turned every meltdown that my kids have thrown in public into a teachable moment for me, sometimes I learn my lesson and say, “No way am I gonna attempt that shit again” other times, I just am hurting to solve the issue and try and try and try again! I hear the criticism from others, I just don’t care! Also I have developed this amazing ability to tune out people, I mean if I can tune out the screaming banshee of a child of mine throwing a tantrum about having the wrong spoon colour, tuning our a mean mommy wannabe is easy peasy.


Back to my original point, I am not a natural Mother, nope not me, you must have me mistaken for someone else! My house is constantly a mess, I swear in multiple languages, multiple times a day! Everything about Motherhood has been difficult for me, I just stepped up, and did my best, researched the shit out of everything I could and then applied what I could to my own situation. Now I will make a list of the things that didn’t come easy to me.



Recovery from childbirth (two c-sections that had open holes for over two months, and terrible nurses making me cry in hospital both times)

Sleep (the fact that none of my kids slept for more than 3 hours at a time for more than a year a piece) I am not a morning person.

Breastfeeding judgement

Pumping problems

Judgy Grandma telling me to give formula because my kid was too skinny

judgy relatives thinking that both of my kids were on the Autism spectrum (even though I am trained to find markers of learning disabilities and they are trained to be gossipy Aunties, please give me your unsolicited and uneducated opinion)

Hormonal imbalances

Infertility issues when trying for my second

Miscarriage when trying for my second

Dealing with having my health deteriorate due to complications from childbirth

Weight gain for someone like me who used to be athletic!

Dealing with postpartum depression

Despising my husband for not helping because of his and our culture’s chauvinist ways.

My husband not standing up for me to people who constantly criticized me in his circle of people

My husband not stepping up to the plate once we became parents

Recognizing my children have allergies, and then having to step up to the plate and change everything that I had learned to about cooking and relearn to make everything from scratch. A whole lifestyle change.

Even now, I get so much judgement for REFUSING to hang around people that despise me, because it isn’t worth my emotional sanity to give toxic people even a moment of my time.


The point of all this is to show you, or someone you know that even when you suspect that someone is perfect, chances are they aren’t. I struggle EVERY Day! I am constantly learning how to deal with life so that it doesn’t tip me back into depression. I don’t want your pity because I deal with my emotions, I have balances and checks in place to ensure that I don’t fall back on hard times. I am emotionally intelligent enough to ask for help when I need it, but I am very cautious of whom I ask.

I hope you take a good hard look at yourself today and just be happy that you have made it this far!


Funny story


I was emptying out my hubby’s clothes from the laundry and pulled out a Long Blonde hair and got so upset, I started throwing all his clothes all over the floor, just tossing it here and there…midway through my hissy fit I realized it was my own long grey hair!!!!

I’m an idiot today! I put the clothes neatly away after that!

Never Say Never


To all you new Mothers & Moms to be, I see you. I see you saying all this judgemental stuff, saying I would Never do this or let my children do that. I have been you. I get it. Let me say this that eating crow was the Hardest thing that I’ve ever had to do!

Don’t judge the mom with one kid, when you have none.

Don’t judge the mom with two kids when you have one.

Don’t judge the mom with three kids until you have three, etc etc because until you have walked a mile in that Woman’s (or Man’s) shoes, you Really and truly have no clue! Like none, really and truly, being a parent is like the Hardest Job in the world, and you have to do it for the most part on little to no sleep, and you are trying to take care of this living, breathing piece of you, that has his/her own ideas and personality that sometimes refuses to be tamed.

Many parents don’t even agree on taming young children so that their true personalities can come through. It’s such a crazy thought to me personally, let me make my child like everyone else so that they are more pleasing to other people. Really? No Thank you!

The thin line between love and hate, in a marriage…


My ringtone on my phone for my husband is Pink – True Love, the lyrics go something like this:


I love my Husband This much! To a tee! This is us! More often than not since we had our second baby. I know that there is light at the end of the tunnel, and this is just the current state. This shit happens when you have a kid, and it gets better once the baby grows older, this much I know. My beef is that no one ever mentioned this to me, like ever…

So no one ever told me, and no one ever talks about the fact that marriages go through ebbs and flows. Every marriage/relationship has phases to it. I know that when it comes down to it, through thick and thin, I love my husband, but at this stage in my marriage, there are multiple times a day to be totally honest that I hate him!

Something that I have noticed is that as women we only bitch to our friends about our spouses, or tell them about how wonderful they are. Why? We should be more honest with each other if we are going to open up, then open up, and don’t always call your friends to bitch and vent. That will give them the wrong impression of your spouse. If you have a friend who does this maybe you should try to lead the conversation and ask if there is truly anything good in that person’s marriage. If your friend truly cannot say anything good, then there might be an underlying issue there…

Me, on the other hand, my husband just drives me bonkers. If for example I ask him to get me a glass of milk, this is what happens:

Me: Can I have a glass of milk please, my hands are full, I just got baby to sleep?

Hubby: urrgh, I just got comfortable, couldn’t you have asked me before? ok, ok, give me a second.

Me: (in my head I say the following) you effing jerk, I bathed and fed your children while you have been lying down on the couch for the last hour, and I just need one small glass of milk to drink before it gets too late and I drink it at 12am so that my bladder will be full and I will have to wake up in the middle of the night to pee, but sure you need a few minutes go ahead and take it.

Hubby: (probably a half hour later) gets up and asks, What did you want? He walks to the kitchen, “What kind of glass?” he opens the fridge and asks “What kind of milk?” “Where is the milk?”

It is just ridiculous! It is a barrage of questions just for one simple request, and that is mostly because I have said to him repeatedly that I despise unnecessary questions, so he does it to irk me.

My problem is that I cannot find a way to irk him, he is the type who lets almost nothing bother him. He could literally be sleeping in a pile of dirty poopy diapers for weeks on end and he wouldn’t be bothered.  Yes, I have tried it…don’t judge.

My whole point of this post is that in a healthy relationship, as I have learned not just from my own experiences but from actually speaking to my friends and family honestly and openly is that no relationship is perfect. Every “Good” marriage, will have ebbs and flows, hills and valleys, and the marriages with longevity all are ones that have couples that still argue, albeit less, but they don’t just say eff this and get a divorce.

Growing up in the Indian culture, and being a first generation Canadian like my husband is something that requires a bit of a balancing act.  I’ve learned that as a women according to our traditional cultural beliefs you really just have to sit back and let your husband do whatever he wants, while you just throw your hands up in the air and say something along the lines of “oh well boys will be boys” and laugh off any crap your hubby might do…(insert screwface here)

I’ve been told by numerous people, including other women that I shouldn’t be so opinionated. I call Bullshit! I say it for this reason. I feel that if your partner doesn’t push you to be the best version of yourself, then you are just in the wrong relationship.

I’ve seen many couples where both individuals are exactly the same person, and neither of them are very nice, mostly because they have no one in the relationship to give them a reality check. I’m grateful when my hubby will call me out and tell me I am spending too much on nonsense…I may not be in the moment it happens, but that is besides the point. I know he’s grateful that I have gotten him to see that binge drinking to the point where you are constantly shitfaced isn’t a weekly or even monthly event.

Look the point is that there are not enough examples of modern Indian couples for the younger generation to look at. By no means am I judging people who have chosen divorce, or anyone for that matter, I am speaking from my own experience and only getting a realistic view of marriage after endless nights of crying out of sheer frustration because I was under some delusional impression that planning the wedding or getting through the first year or marriage was going to be the toughest part. It isn’t!

Currently I think that stage after having children is the hardest part of a relationship. As a woman you are constantly sleep deprived and hangry, so you have the patience of an flea infested, fire-breathing dragon, and want to kill your significant other for a wide variety of reasons!

What do you think is the hardest point in a marriage? Why? Do tell!